How to Catch and Avoid
by RandomEarthling
Summary: What happens when Ruffnut dares Astrid to avoid Hiccup for a week? What happens when Hiccup decides to chase Astrid all over Berk to get her to talk to him? Chaos of course!
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own HTTYD. They belong to Dreamworks and Cressida Cowell. They are awesome.**

**Ruffnut dares Astrid to avoid Hiccup for a week. If she wins, Ruffnut cleans Stormfly's cage for a year. If she loses, Astrid cleans up after the twins' Zippleback, Barf and Belch, for a year. Can she do it? This is a three part fanfic...no flames please.  
**

* * *

The Dare

"_Okay_. One _last _dare." Astrid said after enduring a long hour of Ruffnut's whines. They were on top of a hill overlooking the village, and after Ruffnut started pulling her hair, she decided she can't take any more of Ruffnut's whines, hair tugs and pleas. Her mental constitution can't take that much abuse.

This morning, Ruffnut came up with a ridiculous idea. _She and Astrid should play dares_! Astrid was smart. And she knew it was a bad idea from the start, but at first the games were just so fun and easy. Like, "Climb up that tree and chop off the top without using your hands." or, "Kick Hookfang in the belly and NOT catch on fire!" At first she was okay with embarrassing herself for the fun of it, and Ruffnut did say that the loser gets to clean up after the winner's dragon for a year. But after Ruffnut's "Teeter on the edge of that cliff after banging your head hard against a boulder twice!" dare Astrid was ready to call it quits (Ruffnut had also judged if Astrid's head bangs were hard enough, so the head banging took long).

Who knows what crazy dare Ruffnut's planned for her next? Astrid knows it won't be easy; after all, this is the last dare, and that crazy Viking she calls a friend won't make it easy. Should she back out? Would it be too un-Viking of her if she refuses a dare from Ruffnut Thorston herself? Will she die a horrible painful death if she accepts?

As Astrid was thinking terrifying thoughts about what the next dare would be, a frowning Ruffnut was thinking. And this time, _really_ thinking. Astrid had managed to do all the dares she thought up without even batting an eyelash. What would be the hardest thing for a manly, tough, and stubborn Viking girl like Astrid to do? It's obvious that she can take down a Monstrous Nightmare after calming down Hookfang earlier, so fighting dragons would be a walk in the fields for her. It's also easy for her to do dangerous and stupid dares after being almost knocked out by a boulder. Using an axe is not a big deal for her either, Ruffnut knew that from experience.

So what is the best dare to give to the _toughest teenage Viking girl in the world_?

And that's when Ruffnut's eyes landed on Astrid's one and only weakness and her frown turned into a terrifying smile.

"Hey Astrid," she said with an evil gleeful smirk. "Ready for your dare?" _I'm so gonna win this._ Ruffnut thought as Astrid put on a brave face and turned to look at her. _No Zippleback duty for a year!_

When Astrid raised her chin defiantly and said "Bring it on." Ruffnut raised her hand and pointed at the scrawny back of the only Night Fury rider on Berk, Astrid's boyfriend, Hiccup.

"_Him._" Ruffnut said at Astrid's confused expression. "Avoid him for a _week_. _No_ talking to him at all, not even through letters, dragons, nothing. You're _not_ going to see him for a week; you won't even be in the same table as him at the mead hall! Whatever happens, _no_ contact." She gave a satisfied smirk as she saw Astrid's paling-by-the-second face. "Oh, and you're not telling him about this dare, nor anyone else."

"And if I refuse?" Astrid said while trying to keep her face from showing her growing panic. _Ignore Hiccup for a week? _She thought frantically. _Not good! I can't just ignore my _boyfriend_! Not when it took him a stinking _year and a half_ to get the guts to ask me out! Not when it took him _another frustratingly long year_ to get enough nerve up to ask me to be his girlfriend. _Not, _when I _finally_ just said _yes!

"Then you'll be spending a lot of quality time with Barf and Belch." Ruffnut said with a sneer.

_Oh _great_._ Astrid thought.

_Poor Hiccup._

...Meanwhile...

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III wanted to surprise Astrid with flowers. Yes, he knows it's kinda stupid to give a Viking girl flowers, but it was the best he can do on such short notice. Besides, he always liked seeing her smile when he does sweet little things for her (though she usually punches him on the shoulder to express her thanks). To him, getting a bruise on the arm was worth it if he gets to see Astrid remove her tough Viking girl exterior for a few moments to let him catch a glimpse of the girl inside.

_And maybe,_ he thought, _if I play it right, after giving her the flowers, maybe we could go on a little race on our dragons._

Racing with Astrid is always fun when you know that a Deadly Nadder has no chance of beating a Night Fury in a race. It's more fun if you know that Astrid won't give up trying to catch up to a Night Fury.

...At the docks...

"Hey Ast-!" Poor Hiccup was struck dumb when his girlfriend of four months and two days (he still can't believe it even now, and he's still counting the days) suddenly _somersaulted_ off the docks (really, who does that?!) and _swam_ away upon seeing him approach. That was definitely not normal Astrid Hofferson behavior. He groaned in frustration, it was probably that mysterious liquid Gobber sprayed – no, _dumped_, on him earlier when he said he was going to see Astrid. He should've known it was not the "ultimate man perfume that would attract the ladies like a dragon to a pile of fish" that Gobber advertised. He self-consciously sniffed his sleeve. He groaned, no wonder Astrid jumped off the docks. For all he knew, he probably _did_ smell like a pile of fish to her. A pile of _dead _fish to be more precise. The stuff was _nasty! _

And so with a grimace Hiccup hastily jumped off the docks too, with only one mission in his mind; wash Gobber's "man perfume" off him. He'll find Astrid and talk to her later, when he could smell fresh air.

...

But, sadly, he won't be apologizing to Astrid any time soon. Immediately after changing to dry, warm clothes (he learned his lesson; swimming in the seas near Berk, in winter, is a bad idea) he went and looked for Astrid. He searched high and low, and sometimes even higher, in the skies, trying to find her. But all he could find of the suddenly elusive blonde Viking was the sight of her back running away.

...

After hours of trying to catch up to Astrid, he finally found her when he entered the Mead Hall. She was standing across the room with Ruffnut. It was obvious that they were talking (more like whispering heatedly) about something. And whatever it was, Ruffnut was smirking like a hyena and Astrid was beyond livid. Hiccup paled. After years of knowing Astrid, he found that she had a certain kind of lividness that only she could pull off, and it was perfectly _terrifying_. She both looked like she could kill and she _would _kill.

Fearing for Ruffnut's safety, Hiccup slowly approached the two girls. As he was nearing he heard snippets of their whispered conversation. "_I had to swim! Swim! In a Berk winter sea that's freezing-your-butt-off cold!_" Astrid said. Ruffnut said something with a grin, which only made Astrid angrier. "_I spent the rest of the morning avoiding him! I had to _crawl_ under my mom's _laundry_ when I saw him flying above on Toothless!_" She hissed.

_Great. _Hiccup thought. _Astrid's avoiding me. Of course. It's probably because of that "perfume". I'm never following girl advice from Gobber again._

Astrid then turned around, obviously looking for something to hit Ruffnut with. Once she saw Hiccup she almost fainted when all the blood immediately left her face. At that moment she both swore at Ruffnut with all the curses she knew (and since she was a Viking, her swear word dictionary was more than extensive) and mentally prayed to all the Gods to let her spontaneously combust and disappear from where she stood.

But she was a Viking. A proud, tough, and strong Viking. She had to face this with all the pride and dignity she had.

Hiccup was only able to say "Astrid," before said girl pushed Ruffnut into his arms with a yelp and ran like lighting out of the Mead hall.

* * *

**Poor Hiccup, he thinks Astrid's avoiding him because of Gobber's "perfume".  
Poor Astrid, just when she finally got Hiccup as a boyfriend (yes, I like thinking that Hiccup dragged around for that long before he asked Astrid to be his girlfriend – and I also like thinking that she took her sweet time saying yes because of it), she has to ignore him for a week (oh the pain!).  
Poor _Gobber_, his perfume isn't the problem.  
Poor _Hookfang_ (for those who are confused, that's the name of Snotlout's Monstrous Nightmare), she got kicked by Astrid Hofferson, it's gotta be painful.**

**Okay, so that wasn't much of a first chapter, but I promise there will be more in the next one. **

**Forgive me for any errors, but this is my first time writing a fanfic. **


	2. Chapter 2: The Chase

**I don't own HTTYD! I wish I did, but they belong exclusively to Dreamworks and Cressida Cowell  
Chapter 2, The Chase, has two parts. You'll see why if you read on. I know I'm late, blame writer's block. *sniffs*  
Warning: HINTS OF HICSTRID FLUFFAGE!**

* * *

Chapter 2: The Chase

_Six months, three weeks, and four days ago…_

"Umm, you know Astrid, we've been together for a while now – I mean, you know, not _together_ together, you know, just together…together." Hiccup paused, and then groaned. "And _that_ made absolutely _no _sense." Hiccup said as he paced around his room with a bored Toothless watching him. "Buddy, help me out here." Hiccup said as he finally sat on the bed, lamenting about his pathetic self.

Toothless rolled his eyes. They had been sitting in Hiccup's room for hours, trying to think of the proper ways to apologize to Astrid without making her kill him. Usually, Toothless sided with his rider. But right now, he couldn't blame Astrid for flipping out at Hiccup at the Mead Hall yesterday. She _had_ been waiting for his rider to come to his senses for more than two years.

…..flashback to the day before, at the Mead hall….

Hiccup, Tuffnut, Fishlegs, and Snotlout were all discussing about the rumored new dragon that was supposedly spotted near Outcast Island when Ruffnut and Astrid came to sit beside them. As usual, Astrid sat beside Hiccup, and across the table, Ruffnut sat in between Tuffnut and Fishlegs. Receiving a glare from Astrid, Ruffnut only smirked and leaned towards Hiccup, who was gulping down his mead. "Hey Hiccup, have you and Astrid sealed the deal yet?"

At this Hiccup blushed, choked, coughed, and sputtered out his mead. He was incapable of speaking for a few more minutes as he was busy hacking out on the table, with Snotlout pounding on his back. Several occupants of the table though, had leaned away considerably far from Hiccup.

"N-no!" Hiccup had managed to spit out after a while, blushing a deep red. Sure, he and Astrid make out a lot, but they'd never go that far.

"Really?" Ruffnut asked, aware and amused by Hiccup's obvious blush. "I thought, since Astrid's your girlfriend for like, a year, you guys would've been done with it by now." If she felt the kick Astrid sent her from under the table, she surprisingly didn't show it.

"Astrid's not my girlfriend. We're just friends." Hiccup said. This earned him several shocked looks from the occupants of the table.

After that, a dangerous, heavy silence fell. Fortunately, Fishlegs broke it before serious, irrepressible chaos erupted. "You mean, after a _year_ of going out, Astrid's _not_ your girlfriend?" He asked slowly, as if trying to convince himself that it was true.

"Um, yeah. C-c'mon Legs, isn't it kinda obvious?" Hiccup said, laughing nervously. "Isn't that right, Astrid?" He turned to look at his silent friend who was frighteningly silent. It was a mistake. Astrid looked murderous.

"I'm…_not_?" Astrid said after a while. Her voice was calm, betraying no emotion, and her face was indifferent, but her eyes plainly said "I'm just itching to sink my axe on your thick head."

Hiccup chose the wise decision to stay quiet. It saved his life, but it didn't stop Astrid from being fuming mad.

"_Shove your thick head in your ass then! It belongs there!_" Astrid had snapped at Hiccup, slamming her hands down on the table. Hiccup only managed a weak "Wait-" before Astrid promptly stood up, slapped him across the face and walked away. As she left, Hiccup heard her ranting.

"A year of waiting, for _this_?! Am I on a fucking _wait-list_?! He's taking _forever_!…" She ranted as she exited the Mead hall, slamming the large doors as she went.

After another tense moment of silence at the table, the other occupants, to Hiccup's utter mortification, then started going "Ooooh."

The "oohing" went on for a while before Fishlegs spoke up. "You know, Astrid's kinda right Hiccup, you _are_ taking forever." He said with a sympathetic glance at the seat Astrid left.

"What?! Why're-" Hiccup managed before Snotlout cut him off.

"It's true you know." Snotlout said with a smirk, ignoring the glare Hiccup sent him. "I mean c'mon Hiccup, it's kinda obvious to everyone that you like her, and that she likes you too." He said this with an incredulous look on his face, as if he still can't believe it. "And you guys are technically a couple. Why are you waiting so long? Do you even _want _Astrid to be your girlfriend?"

"Yes!" Hiccup said. "It's just that-"

"You know, if you don't have the balls to for it, I could always take her away. She can't really wait for a fishbone like you forever." Snotlout smirked. "Maybe she'll finally realize that there's more fish in the sea." He pointed at himself with a wink.

"Geez Snotlout that's really-"Hiccup only managed to say half of his intended sarcastic reply before Tuffnut slammed his mug on the table.

"I bet a week's worth of honey mead that Astrid's gonna kill Hiccup by the end of the week." Tuffnut said confidently. "She looked really pissed." At this Snotlout laughed and Hiccup groaned.

"You guys-" He started to say before Ruffnut stood up and jumped on the table.

"Ha! I bet _two_ weeks of honey mead that she's going to cut off his man parts first." Ruffnut yelled. "She doesn't just look pissed, she looks heartbroken real good." She said this with a nod, as if she knows about these things. "Probably crying her eyes out now."

"Hey-" Hiccup started, but was pointedly ignored when Snotlout spoke out.

"_Three_ weeks of mead says that she's going to go for the next best guy. Me." Snotlout said with a proud grin. He looked at Hiccup with a smirk and said, "Sorry Hiccup, you've been beating around the bush for too long."

"Can't I get a-"Poor Hiccup still wasn't able to get a word in when Fishlegs asked him a question.

"Hiccup," Fishlegs said. "You really should go after Astrid."

"What-"

"I think he's going to choke out an apology." Tuffnut cut in. "And Astrid's just gonna dump his sorry behind."

Snotlout laughed at this and yelled "Hear, hear! Let's drink to that! Hiccup doesn't have a chance!" The others roared uproariously at this. But not Hiccup.

_No_, Hiccup didn't laugh. Nothing was funny about this. He just broke Astrid's heart, his head was spinning from all the possibilities his friends had presented, he was confused, he was devastated, he was guilty, his cheek still hurts from where Astrid slapped him, the idea that Snotlout was going to take Astrid away, and that she was probably going to let him was making his hands shake into fists, and oh, yes, he just _broke Astrid's heart_.

So, no, Hiccup didn't laugh.

_Hiccup went_ _ballistic_.

That evening everyone in Berk was stunned and amused (but mostly amused) to hear that the chief's usually peaceful son had actually gone berserk at the Mead hall (Hiccup would continue to disagree with this rumor for the rest of his life, stating that he never hurled a heavy table hard across the room, breaking it into pieces – while Fishlegs and the others would beg to disagree). This particular news made the chief very proud to hear that his son finally acted like a Viking and Gobber was reported to be whooping uncontrollably after hearing about it (he was also said to be laughing so hard his belt snapped).

…..back to Toothless…

"Toothless, how am I gonna do this?" Hiccup rambled while Toothless groaned. They've been at this since yesterday. Hiccup didn't go to sleep, and he made it damn well certain that Toothless didn't sleep too. And this made Toothless very annoyed.

What annoyed him more was that he doesn't understand why Hiccup couldn't just mate with Astrid already._ It's clear that he loves his mate_, Toothless had observed. _It's written clearly on his face. And if it's any indication from his sleep talk, it's crystal clear that he wants her. Why hurt himself more?_

_It's probably some pointless human tradition_. Toothless summed up after a moment of pondering. _Like cooking their food._

…..

"Astrid give me a chance to explain." Hiccup said as he caught Astrid on her way to the docks. She ignored him and kept walking, determined to try to completely erase his presence. Hiccup caught her arm and tried to make her stop walking, but she was too strong, and he found himself being dragged along. _By Thor she's too strong._ Hiccup thought as he tried harder to pull Astrid. It didn't work. "Astrid, I'm sorry. I just never thought you'd-"

Astrid whirled on him. "Never thought I'd what?" She yelled, face red with fury. "Hiccup, I love you! Did you know that?!" She groaned when Hiccup didn't answer. She started to walk away, with Hiccup still holding on to her arm. "I don't care if you can't even say it out loud! I don't care if-" Whatever Astrid was about to say, she wasn't able to say it, because all of a sudden Hiccup yanked hard and pulled her towards him. The strength of the pull was a bit too strong, and she ended up falling on his chest.

She wasn't even able to protest when Hiccup straightened her up and whispered in her ear. "Say that again." With Hiccup's suddenly aggressive (but totally sexy) change of attitude, Astrid was only able to whisper it weakly. "I…love you." It was a tad bit too quiet, and she expressively tried to avoid looking him in the eyes.

But it was enough for Hiccup to kiss Astrid hard on the lips. "Thank you." He said as he pulled away. Astrid smiled when he did that goofy grin that she liked so well. It was so Hiccup. And she loved Hiccup, and anything that reminded her of him. "Let's not fight." Hiccup whispered as he rested his forehead on hers.

Astrid smiled wider. "Agreed." She sighed when Hiccup raised his head and dragged her to the edge of the docks, away from the fishermen crowding them. "I hate trying to ignore you. And I don't care if you don't think of me as your girlfriend. As long as I get you."

"As long as you get me." Hiccup repeated. "I like the sound of that." Astrid smiled. "But I'm afraid no one gets me that well." Hiccup continued with a frown.

Astrid scowled. But Hiccup smirked and said "So you need to stick around. Get me better."

When Astrid continued to scowl Hiccup laughed and tipped her chin. "And I don't want anybody else to get me like you do." He kneeled in front of her and cleared his thoat. "Astrid Hofferson, will you, after waiting only Odin knows how long, be my girlfriend?"

Astrid giggled (Astrid?! Giggling?!) and kissed Hiccup on the cheek. "That's for the mushiest apology I've ever heard." She said, her eyes dancing with mischief. "And this-" She placed her hands on his chest. Hiccup smiled, unaware of what will happen next.

Never has the village of Berk been more amused than ever at the merry sight of the chief's son chasing after the girl of his dreams. It was always very funny seeing Hiccup stumble around in front of Astrid, and it was a riot watching Astrid, a tough no nonsense Viking girl, show her own brand of affection.

_Especially _after said Viking girl pushed her man into the cold Berk sea. "Is for thinking I'm easy."

Poor Hiccup was dumbfounded. He thought Astrid wanted to be his girlfriend, but why is she running? Hiccup then decided that even Odin wouldn't know what the deal is with women and their strange mood swings and sudden change of decisions.

So he went home with a bad cold, thinking that maybe Astrid's sudden change of mind will change again tomorrow. One that will go in his favor.

…Unfortunately for our favorite dragon rider, it would take two months, three weeks, and two days before a certain golden-haired Deadly Nadder rider says yes.

(Hang in there Hiccup.)

_Present day_…

"Hey Hiccup." Ruffnut said flirtatiously as she landed on Hiccup's arms after Astrid threw her at him. Hiccup didn't hear her; he was too busy watching Astrid run out of the mead Hall like her life depended on it.

Well, until Ruffnut slapped him hard on the face.

"Ow! What was that for?" Hiccup yelled as he nursed his stinging cheek. "There are other ways to get my attention, Ruffnut." He glared at her before staring back at where Astrid went.

Ruffnut shrugged. "Slapping you is the best way, according to Astrid anyway."

"Astrid told you that slapping me is the best way to get my attention?" Hiccup asked, but then rolled his eyes. Seems like Astrid to do that.

"Nope. She said hitting you gets the quickest reaction."

"Uh-huh."

Ruffnut groaned. "Hey, do you want to know what's up with Astrid or not?" She snapped at him. She needed to step the game up for Astrid because the girl is a bit too good at avoiding her boyfriend. And Ruffnut just shudders when she thinks about what happens if she loses (Deadly Nadders don't let anybody too close except for their riders, if you are unlucky enough to approach one for dragon duty, chances are you'll get a spike up your ass). "Look, runt, there's a reason why she's avoiding you."

Hiccup perked up at this. "Is it because of that perfume Gobber gave me?"

"No you dolt!" Ruffnut snarled. _For a genius, he isn't so bright_. "It's because…she's wondering when you're going to _marry her_!"

Hiccup froze, and for a long time, he didn't seem to want to move at all. And as his brain started to leave this universe, Ruffnut paled. _What the fuck!?_ She thought as she watched Hiccup still as a statue. She went too far, but it was this or losing, she knows that. And she did not want to lose.

Ruffnut smiled. _I'm a freaking genius!_ She thought as she slid an arm around Hiccup's shoulders. "Yeah Hiccup. She's been wondering when you're going to pop the question." Ruffnut said, casually twirling her hair around her fingers.

"But she just became my girlfriend!" Hiccup protested, gingerly moving Ruffnut's arm off his shoulders.

"Get over it Hiccup! She's you're girlfriend for what?! Three months?!"

"Four actually…"

"_Whatever_. You know most Vikings only meet their husbands or wives at the day of their wedding. Astrid's known you since we were _kids_! She's been close to you for two _years_! That's a long time to Vikings like us. _And_ she just absolutely loves you and she's been waiting for _months_ to hear you ask her to be your wife." Ruffnut reasoned, making sure to lay on it thick, because Hiccup may be a genius, but he isn't exactly quick in picking up hints. When it comes to women anyway…

Ruffnut knew that when Astrid finds out about this she needs to go into hiding for a year, but she also knows that if she wins Astrid would be too busy shoveling dragon dung to kill her.

_It's _so_ worth it. Astrid will thank me later._

…

Astrid Hofferson is dead tired. Even now she fails to see how a simple dare could turn into an all-out sprint around Berk. Determined Hiccup plus Night Fury plus tired Astrid plus lazy Nadder equals overly tiring game of cat and mouse.

For example, one time, Hiccup had chanced upon Astrid in the Mead hall. After a tense split second, she ran and he chased – relentlessly.

"Astrid! Wait, why didn't you tell me!" He had called out as he tried to catch up to her.

Astrid panicked. _Fuck! He knows! So why is he still chasing me?!_ She tried to jump over Bucket, who was bending over to pick his fallen mug, but she failed when he stood up to quickly. And with a yelp she fell face flat on the floor. She was nearly caught by Hiccup. It was a good thing Stormfly was there and thought Hiccup was hurting her. So the dragon snarled and pounced on him, knocking over three people in the process.

Toothless then came bounding in when he heard Hiccup yelp, and it led to a small skirmish between the dragons, which resulted in many broken chairs, plates, mugs and tables. During the confusion, Astrid managed to get away from Hiccup (but not from her parents, who gave her an _hours long_ lecture about controlling her dragon).

There was also that time when she was fixing her house's roof. She was standing on the edge of the roof, when Hiccup appeared on Toothless's back. Astrid was so surprised she fell off the roof and into the mud puddle beside her house. When Hiccup appeared beside her, by reflex she threw mud at his face and ran away. But Hiccup didn't give up and proceeded to chase her all around Berk. She spent the whole afternoon that day dodging Toothless's claws and thrown bolas (some people thought it would be fun to help Hiccup with his lady problems, so they tried throwing bolas after bolas, trying to slow her down).

"Astrid would you please just stop!" Hiccup shouted after her as, by some miracle, she lost him and Toothless in the woods.

But Astrid won't lose this bet. She's worked too hard for it. And she doesn't want to stick around for Hiccup to find her and to tell her that's he's breaking up with her because she avoided him all week just for a silly dare.

'_I'm going to kill Ruffnut. I'm going to kill Ruffnut. I'm going to kill Ruffnut.'_ Is Astrid's ongoing mantra for days now. And sometimes she's thinking about killing Hiccup too, because he's so dead set in catching her. It's like he's working together with Ruffnut to have her clean dragon shit for a year! But, even though she suspects that Hiccup and Ruffnut are teaming up, seeing each other (she thinks this when she's being overly paranoid from exhaustion), or that she's going through running hell because of him, there's one problem, one thought, that's constantly in her mind…

…_I miss him._

* * *

**Quite long. But I wanted everyone to see how Hiccup asked Astrid out. That and I wanted a little fluff. So, how did I do, I want to know! Thank you LizzyLori, Midoriko-sama, Foxlight the Dragon Trainer, and Cyclone 20! Your reviews made me so happy! You guys are awesome!**

**If I have loads of errors, I'm so sorry!**


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